It's Okay to breathe

January 27 2019

As a mom, at the end of a long day when nothing seems to go according to plan, we find ourselves questioning each step we took and every decision we made; big or small. We focus so intently on our children. Making sure they've eaten enough that day, or gotten enough sleep. We wonder if we spent enough time with them or told them you loved them enough that day. We forget that it's ok to breathe. It's ok if we dry the same load of laundry for the fifth time. And its ok if we forgot to lay something out for dinner; there's a setting on the microwave for that. We don't have to be a perfect parent to raise good kids. Raising good kids is about being a good mom. There wasn't a how-to book sent home with a free pack of diapers when we brought our bundle of joy home. They handed us this tiny little human and expected us to know how to make it grow. Day by day; little by little we discover things about ourselves that we didn't know before. For example, we weren't aware that we could carry on a full conversation with another adult while simultaneously preparing dinner for six, changing the laundry out; finally and explaining math to a 13-year-old. Never missing a beat. But, we did that. We nailed it. Parenting, I have discovered, isn't about the things we are doing wrong or sometimes even the things we are doing halfway right. Parenting is about the small accomplishments we make every day. Being a good parent isn't about doing it the way your mom did it or they way her mom did it. Parenting is about knowing what is best for each individual child and knowing that you a making the best decisions for your children from one day to the next. And day to day is what matters. Not week to week or meeting to meeting. As a parent, we get bombarded with letters and calendars every week with lists of things to do. As if we don't already have enough to do, now we have to add one more thing to this already crowded list of things that probably aren't going to get done: on time. But when your calendar runneth over with things we like to call, get to them later, take a step back look at your children. Look at the smiles on their faces. They are happy because you are parenting the best way for them. Not the best way for Nancy next door. Pat yourself on the back and say a good job. Your kids are great kids because you are a great mom.