Our Common Bond #nothingbutlove

September 24 2017

I started a small private group on Facebook, mainly for the people I met at the Pulse Funerals to continue building the friendships we had started and to do it without constantly being asked to donate or buy something or to attend a rally or tribute or any number of things that the other groups were asking members, without even knowing who their members were. I also found that things were being discussed about what happe ned, sometimes in graphic details, with no regard or even comprehension that there were family members in that group that did not need to hear the details. I worried about Eddie's mom and what she may hear in one of those groups that could make her feel worse than I am sure she already did . She did not need someone's reckless disregard for others to cause her anymore pain. I thought often about the Father who had not seen his son in years and how tragic yet, poetic it was that he would have to face his character flaws while grieving for a son he had righteously pushed away years ago because of who he loved. I wonder if he assumed it was him being slaughtered in those groups. for turning his back on his only son and only showing his face in Orlando because of the million dollars he would be entitled to. Would someone else notice his name and privately message him that it was not him they were ripping apart, but another Father who had seen his son in years because he was ashamed that his only son was in love with a man. However, unlike the broken father I had spent Father's Day with, this man felt no guilt and no shame and in fact made no apologies for his mindset and in fact, appeared to feel more of something when speaking of the "tormented soul" that killed 49 people and seriously injured 68 more because he felt disdain for his inability to control his emotional, mental and physical need to be sexual with another man. He found justification in his religion to murder the child that the Father also found justification in his religion to free himself from the shackles of being a loving and caring Father. I wonder to this day, what he used to justify his attempt to collect close to a million dollars of money that people all over the world had worked long hours to earn but their pain for the Angels and their families was so strong, they sent the money to the families and survivors. I wonder if he knew that we all knew that he had refused to bury his son or even to pay for a cremation or pick up his belongings and due to this, his son was dead for over a month before he was quietly and without the love and support of his community, cremated and buried in a donated plot by his boyfriend of 5 years. I wonder if he understands that we see his greed and enjoyment in the spotlight as a sickness that makes us feel grateful his son did not have to deal with that disappointment in those hours, days and years prior to his death. Did he hear what the Judge who denied his claim to the money and his story that he intended to open a scholarship in his son's name in order to honor him, said about his character and how his son was so much better off without him? He did not seem to notice nor did he seem quite so eager to speak with us on his way back home. I started #nothingbutlove because it helped me heal and it helped me see and accept and change and grow up and it helped me accept love and taught me how to love in a deeper, more personal way. these strangers that I rolled my eyes at that first day, were quickly becoming my friends, my confidants and my family. The way that they talked to each other and were there for each other and didn't always want something from the other was all new to me and because of them, I was able to break free of the toxic relationships I had accepted as friendships for so many years. Now, a year later, and we have 200 people in our group, each selected after our own vetting process, I began to hear the stories from people about how #nothingbutlove saved them? Yes, saved them. That without the love and support they got every day from the group, they would not have made it through those dark days. That because of me? Yes, me. They felt safe and supported and loved when love was such a wanted commodity that not everyone felt it, they did and it was because I wanted to selfishly keep my close little group close for a few weeks longer after the last funeral In doing just a little greedy and whole lot hurt and scared and sorry, I started a private group on facebook with 15 members called #nothingbutlove (I always say I have nothing but love for you, hence the name) and now we have about 300 members who we still hand select after we vet them, 3 facebook pages, 3 private groups, a tiny little spotify store that we sell the items I make and the ones I get from China and one non profit organization called Our Common Bond intent on bringing 2 communities together and building one no label community based on the thing that we all have i n common and that bonded us from day one and keeps us bonded LOVE As corny as it may be, we are a family of truly unique and different people because we all choose to love and respect each other for who Go d make us and we do not judge the other for doing something we don't agree with but that is not hurting anyone and we are there to support ether and respect ether and make sure than none ever feels they are along. In 2 weeks, we will have our Launch Party and unleash this crazy adventure into the Central Florida community and start our journey helping survivors of Pulse and transgender men and women Do not muss this ride I can promise you it will be along time before something this amazing comes around again